When I was in secondary and high school, I didn’t think about what I want to do in the future at all. I only know that going to college is the way to go. To the city, and change my fate of becoming a peasant. I dared to dream about what I can do only after I got into college. For rural kids, the only possible way to change identity in the past was to study. But now as long as you have some talent, some nerve, nothing illegal, you may achieve it. The nation has changed.
I have no motivation now and don’t have the same support nets as before to get help on engineering projects. My motivation is like 5% of what it was before.Thinking about doing the work makes me want to cry and hurt myself. Can’t focus, work routine disrupted, can’t go to normal study places.
I have to spend 100% more time studying and combing the material to write my essays because I am on my own. Study time was about 6-8hrs a week with in-class, but is now at least 16hrs, sometimes as much as 24hrs per week, with online. Perhaps this is making me a better philosopher, but due to limitations of time I literally spend all of my waking hours either working or doing homework, and a lot of the menial tasks I would do on weekends don’t get done now.
